Saturday, 25 December 2010

Proof Test

I tend never to drink when I write, or write when drinking (whichever starts first wins out).

But at 4am this Christmas morning I broke the taboo and pumped out a piece whilst slurring on Black Russians. Then I wrote a poem. After waking and sobering up I decided to write another -

Here's the test: which poem do you prefer?  They're both first drafts, obviously, but perhaps this proof test will allow Mr Vodka to hold the pen more often...

Russell Jones


we were burned up on re-entry
burned up and cast out like ashes
like ashes in an instant in a flash
a flash of separation one body
one body thudding against another
against another body and we embraced
we embraced between the atoms
between the atoms and smiled stupid
stupid really as death was imminent
imminent enough and we knew it
we knew it but we smiled as the earth
the earth honed into view bold
bold and blue and devastating
devastating in one way but beautiful
beautiful as the temperature grew
grew so quickly we were vapour
vaporised in a flash one body
one body drifting through another
through another in a flash of separation
separation cast out like ashes
like ashes burned up and bought together
bought together at last in vacuum


Boys are dogs at car windows
Girls are spiced rum

Morning is position four
Night is thin shins on bed legs

Monday is the coldest month
Friday is cranberries

Hate is mustard
Love is a thumb war

Doors are a waste of central heating and therefore the whole environment
Windows are great

Television is duvets and chocolate and possibly marshmallows
Books are work

Wine is calorific, carcinogenic but preferable
Beer is cheap

Work is a nightmare
Leisure is attainable

Children are someone else’s noise box
Old age is piss

Science is convenient
Art is a room

Christmas is the 25th of December
New Year is troublesome

Parsnips are neither here nor there
Vodka is fantastic

Light is conversation
Darkness is the in fold of my wallet

Happiness is welcoming
Depression is a derelict roasting tray

The future is every colour other than orange
The past is a drawer

Confinement is marmalade
Space is a jar

You are the planet Earth
I am the last cosmonaut 


  1. Generally I preferred Re-entry, but I thought than Converse had some better lines, although it may be lacking a bit in focus.

    So, you now have to tell me which was which?


  2. Just in case someone else comments, I'll hold of revealing which was which for now - thanks Mairi!

  3. I liked Re-entry enormously,
    It flowed with easy style.
    And Converse was intriguing too,
    There's just one point where I disagree with you.

    If mustard is hate - then I must be evil.

    Now which one of these was a drunken upheaval?

  4. A rhyming reply!
    Well I'm glad you enjoyed
    Re-entry. I can't deny
    it was Converse which was written
    whilst inebriated, intoxicated, destroyed -